It Has Always Been You
by Dilmn8
Summary: Jim has a little problem, he likes his first officer. SLASH Kirk/Spock
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is the first multi-chaptered fic I have written so please be nice :) It is a pretty generic storyline as you will see, but I think it's a good place for me to start. Hopefully you will like it. I love reviews by the way! Even constructive criticism is welcome, just don't be mean. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of this and I am not making any money, but I wouldn't mind owning Spock…hehe

You know, most people think being me is awesome; and most people are jealous. But little do most people realize is that there is a lot more to James T. Kirk than meets the eye. Yeah I'm handsome; well really handsome if it's not to bold of me to say so, which I don't think it is. Yeah I'm smart, yeah I'm the captain of a Starfleet vessel, and yeah it's the best spaceship out there. But there are some things about my life, which aren't so great. Well only one actually.

I think I have a crush on my First Officer.

Now I know you may be thinking, 'What's so wrong with that?' Well let me tell you: 1. He is my First Officer, which is kind of bad because we work together. 2. He is a Vulcan, well Half-Vulcan anyway. And 3. Well, he is a he!

Now, not that I had any problem with someone being gay and whatnot but it just wasn't for me. I mean, I love women! Like, really love them! I'm even known as a bit of a player. Well more like a man-whore.

The only plus to this situation was that Spock wasn't taken anymore. Not that I was happy about this, well actually I was but that's beside the point. Spock and Uhura's relationship seemed to quickly diminish after the events involving Nero, but the two were still friends. Which was good I suppose, I just find it a little weird. I didn't know that was possible.

But that was the only positive thing about this whole thing. I mean this was Spock! Why does it have to be Spock? I mean, not that there is anything wrong with Spock. He is quite cute when you think about it. 'Wait! What? I need to stop thinking like this!' I thought as I started to fumble around with the data pad in front of me in any attempt to stop my current thought process.

After a few minutes of trying to think about anything else other than the Half-Vulcan sitting only a few feet away from me I found my thoughts drifting back to him.

'I think its more than a simple crush, I might actually like him. I mean, with all of the dreams that happen nightly leaving me changing my pajama pants every time, what else could it be?' These weren't just little dreams either; they were pretty intense sometimes. Though they sometimes seemed more like memories, they ranged from simple gestures of love, like a hug or a kiss, to…something a whole lot more graphic, but I couldn't think of this now, I already felt a tightening in my pants. I need to distract myself.

I looked around the bridge, and what do you know? Nothing exciting was happening. I looked over to Uhura only to see her looking over her nails with nothing better to do. I then turned my focus to Sulu and Chekov in front of me. The two were having a quiet debate on who knows what, not much interest to me. Then against my will I turned to look over at Spock's station.

Unlike everyone else, Spock seemed to be quite involved in his work; he was quickly tapping away giving new commands to the computer trying to figure out something that was probably way beyond me. This gave me an opportunity to look over my First Officer. I noticed how graceful his hands were, his nimble fingers completing their task obediently. I couldn't quite see his face but I bet he had that cute little twinkle in his eyes that he only got when he was dealing with something that proved difficult. I would also bet money his eyebrows were also furrowed, the only thing on his face that would give away any information to the emotions he was currently feeling. Most people wouldn't even notice, but I always knew.

Wait! How did I know this? When did I have the time to notice all of these things about Spock? Have I been watching him without knowing it? This was starting to get way out of hand. That was when my thoughts were interrupted by something beeping.

"Captain, we are receiving a message from Starfleet command. Shall I connect us?" said Uhura.

"Yes, thank you." I replied as she quickly tapped the screen in front of her revealing Admiral Pike in front of me replacing the stars that were once there.

"Captain Kirk, I trust everything is well on the Enterprise?" he asked.

"Yes, Admiral everything is as it should be."

"That's good. I have your next mission ready; I'll send it over now. Good luck. Pike out." and with that the screen disappeared to reveal once again the open space before us.

"Alright, Uhura. Open her up." I said.

"Aye, Captain." she replied as she once again tapped the screen bringing up the mission.

"Alright, crew. It seems like we are going to be delivering some supplies to New Vulcan to help with their re-colonization efforts." I said after looking over the file.

"Mr. Sulu, please plot the quickest course to Starfleet Command on Earth so we can pick up the supplies."

"Aye, Captain." He replied. "We should arrive in a little over a day, Sir."

"Good, Mr. Spock, you have the conn." I said as I started heading for the turbolift. I needed to get away for a while.

As soon as I arrived at my quarters I decided that I needed a shower. But mainly, I needed to clear my head.

I turned on the shower, making sure it was really hot before stepping in. Once the water hit me, is when I finally started to think about my little situation. I was trying to figure out when I started to feel this way. After a few minutes of quiet deliberation I realized that the first dream happened about two weeks after the Nero attack, and a certain mind thingy that occurred on a certain planet I tried to pretend didn't exist.

"That must be it!" I suddenly said out loud. "I just need to talk to the old man! And we're heading to New Vulcan, this is perfect!"

All of the sudden everything seemed a bit brighter to me, I was hopefully going to be able to finally figure out what's going on with me.

And who knows, maybe I'll get a good nights sleep tonight, lord knows I need it, its been two months sense these dreams started.

I woke up with a start, gasping for air and sweating slightly. I looked over at the digital clock next to my bed. It read 4:23 a.m.

"Great." I groaned a loud. That's when I looked down and noticed I needed to change my pajamas again. "Even better!" I said as I threw my hands up in the air and laughed bitterly.

**A/N**: I know, not much Spock and Kirk interaction in this chapter, well none at all... but they will have a chat next chapter! R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, this is for you.

While docked at the space station in orbit around Earth getting the supplies that needed transport to New Vulcan nothing really exciting happened. I signed the necessary papers, we got the supplies we needed and soon we were on our way, after being there for only a little over 4 hours.

Finally back in my Captains chair I told Sulu to plot a course straight to New Vulcan and he quickly replied with an "aye, Sir!"

"Alright," I said "We have about two days until we reach New Vulcan, so I suggest you spend it resting up, cause after we will have mission after mission with not much rest. Sulu, you have the conn." I said as I sat up from my chair getting ready to head to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, when I was stopped by a certain voice grabbing my attention.

"Captain, may I have a word?" Spock said as he approached me heading into the trubolift along side me.

"Sure, Spock. No problem." I said as the lift doors closed and I pressed the button to head towards the cafeteria.

I had no clue what the Half-Vulcan wanted to talk to me about and I was getting pretty nervous being alone with him.

"Captain," he started to say but I quickly corrected him.

"Spock, call me Jim when we aren't on duty."

"Jim," he corrected, which caused my heart to flutter a little, this was getting pretty bad if that was the reaction I got from only hearing him say my name.

"I wanted to ask you about what occurred while you were marooned on Delta Vega, and why your attitude has changed when you are conversing with me after the incident."

As he said this I blanched, where did this question even come from? How can I tell him about his other…him! I can't tell him anything, and I guess he even noticed I have acting different around him if he feels he needs to ask me about it. What am I going to do? I decided that I needed to try and avoid the question so I quickly started walking towards the cafeteria to try and find some way to distract Spock.

"Uh, Spock…I -I um…" I stammered as I tried to come up with a suitable way out of his question when we finally arrived at my destination.

"Perhaps, we should head somewhere more private," he said as he scanned the cafeteria area, which seemed oddly full right now.

"Um, yeah, lets head to my room." I said, I guess I wont get out of it. Damn.

Once we arrived to my room, we stood in an awkward silence for a few moments while I stood fidgeting and Spock stood ramrod straight with his hands held behind his back in his typical pose, which I oddly found cute. Wait! Stop! Not now!

I decided to make it a little less awkward and headed to the replicator that I had in my room; everything is better with food. I decided on making a nice cheeseburger, I looked at Spock and was about to ask if he wanted any when he silently refused with a simple hand gesture.

Spock finally broke the growing silence by saying, "Jim, if you feel you cannot divulge certain information about the incident to me for some reason I should perhaps let you know that I do indeed know about my alternate self."

"What?!' I practically yelled almost startling Spock and completely forgetting my cheeseburger. "What- How do you know? How can you know?"

"After, the whole incident with Nero was finished I was approached by my other self and we had a conversation in which he convinced me to remain in Starfleet." Spock calmly replied.

"So, he lied to me? The universe won't explode if you know? Wait, what? You were going to leave Starfleet?" I asked.

"Yes, that was my original plan until I was convinced otherwise. It seemed only logical, with the Vulcan race seemingly near extinction I would be needed to help rebuild my race." He stated.

"Oh," was my eloquent reply "Well, I'm glad you stayed."

"Thank you Jim, as am I." he replied causing me to blush slightly.

This is when the second awkward silence started, it seemed to last longer than the first so I decided I would be the one to break it. "So, you, the other you I mean lied to me when he said I couldn't tell you about him?"

"Yes, it would seem he did, which I find highly disconcerting seeing as Vulcan's do not lie, it goes against all logic."

And here was the third awkward silence of the night. But it seemed to be quite short because Spock really wanted to know what happened on that planet.

"Jim, I would greatly appreciate it, if you would explain what happened on Delta Vega." He said.

"Oh, ok. Well um…" I started to say, trying to remember what happened "I was being chased by this monster beast thingy and I ran into a cave where the other you was camping out and he scared the beast off with some fire. He then told me how he was you, and I was all 'bullshit.' and then did this mind thingy with me—"

I was quickly cut off when Spock asked "He preformed a mind meld with you?" seeming a bit angry.

"Well, um, yeah. He said it was the quickest and easiest way for him to tell me what he knew so that I could defeat Nero." I replied a bit nervously.

That didn't seem to calm him down any "Jim, a mind meld is a highly personal experience and it should never be taken lightly, he committed a highly inappropriate act against you." He stated.

"Oh…really? It didn't seem that bad. I mean, he kind of had to. We needed to be quick and he said it was the only way."

"I find it highly irresponsible that he intruded upon your mind in such a manner. With a mind meld, nothing is secret, he had full access to your mind, Jim" Spock said still quite angry. He said my name with such intensity I found it hard to concentrate.

"So, uh, he could see everything in my mind?" I stuttered trying to recover from hearing my first name. This was getting pathetic.

"Yes, and you had access to his, but given your lack of knowledge on the subject of telepathy I doubt you saw much, unless he unintentionally left certain memories inside your mind. I find this highly doubtful, however, considering his great age and obvious wisdom and expertise."

"Oh." Was all I said. I think I found my answers regarding the dreams though. Were those the other Spock's memories? And if they were, did that mean that he had a relationship with his alternate self? All of this info was giving me a headache.

"Jim, do you think he may have accidentally transferred any memories into your mind?" Spock asked.

Oh shit! What do I tell him? Should I lie? "Um, no I don't think he did Spock…" I lied,

"You know, I'm pretty beat. I think I need to catch up on some sleep, do you think we could finish this later?"

"Of course Captain," he said, but he saw me start to correct him and beat me to it, correcting himself "Jim."

With that, Spock left my room, leaving me with a shit load of stuff to think about. Did the other Spock lie to me? Were these feelings even mine? Did I want these feelings to be mine? I'm so confused.

I was in for a rough night. And only one person, well Half-Vulcan could help me find the answers I needed, and he was about 2 days away. Yeah, Spock had a little bit of explaining to do.

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**

A/N: Okay, i have some pretty bad news, well more bad for me but still bad. Yesterday my computers hard drive crashed so i dont have my computer anymore. the good news about this is that i have already added the first 9 chapters to my account so i can post those, using my iphone..haha :/ . since i didnt want to keep you guys waiting i borrowed my sisters computer and kind of changed around a few things so i could finish the story. so if the end seems kind of abrupt i apologize, but it i did manage to finish with what i had, so dont think that it will just stop in the middle. i feel reallly realy bad about this, but i have done the best i can. i hope you still read the story, and i'll try to post a sequel as soon as i can. thanks for understanding.


	3. Chapter 3

For those who read and review this is for you. thank you.

The next day found a clearly cranky Captain. I had about 1 hour of sleep last night, the rest of the night was spent either tossing and turning in bed or pacing around my room, the whole time thinking about the mind meld, my Spock, and—wait! When did he become my Spock? I must be really serious about this dude…

Only one thing was bothering me about this whole situation, the other Spock. I really need to talk to him, I need answers, quickly.

Even now as I sat in my Captains chair I still understood nothing. I was still so confused I was becoming irritable and the bridge crew was starting to notice. When I entered the bridge this morning I didn't greet the crew in my usual loud manner, I basically just sat down and barked out an order to get to work, very unlike me.

"Mr. Sulu, how long until we reach New Vulcan?" I asked.

"About 20 hours, Sir" he replied a little nervously.

"Good," I then pressed the button on the armrest of my chair that would connect me to Scotty. "Scotty, how's she running?"

"Aye, she's runnin beautifully, Cap'in! We'll be there in no time at all." he replied with the typical enthusiasm he reserved for only the Enterprise.

"Perfect," I replied, pressing the button to terminate the transmission to engineering.

After this not much happened on the bridge, I remained in my trance like state trying to figure out what was happening to my life. I barely noticed when Spock approached me.

"Captain." He said, but I still didn't hear him "Captain." He repeated, only a little louder this time.

This was enough to bring me out of my stupor. "Huh? Oh, Spock what can I do for you?" I asked.

"I was about to ask if you would like to accompany me to have lunch, but if you are otherwise busy feel free to decline my request, Captain." He stated, and it seemed like he was a little nervous. I could see a very light green blush on top of his ears; I had the feeling only I noticed though.

"Yeah, sure Spock, lunch sounds nice." I replied, almost giddy that I would be able to spend time with him, hopefully talking about anything other than my little problem.

I got up and we headed towards the turbolift and got in. Spock pressed the button that would lead us to the cafeteria. We rode in silence, luckily the ride lasted only about 10 seconds.

As we came closer to the cafeteria, I started to notice that Spock seemed really nervous. The blush was still there and it looked like he was trying extremely hard not to fidget, of course he never did though. I could only wonder why he would be so nervous. Did he like me too? Did he want to ask me something? I was starting to get nervous as well, I was also starting to think that this lunch wasn't going to turn out the way I had planned.

We grabbed our food from the replicators, chicken strips for me (a childhood favorite) and a garden salad for Spock. We sat in a somewhat secluded corner of the almost empty cafeteria.

As we started eating I felt my nerves begin to double for no apparent reason.

"Captain," Spock started, but I quickly cut in, "It's Jim, Spock."

"Jim," he once again corrected and if I didn't know any better I would say the flush deepened. Which was oddly satisfying to me. "I wanted to apologize for the actions my other self committed against you."

"Oh…Spock, there's no need for you to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, and honestly, I'm not all that bothered with the mind meld thingy." I replied.

"Jim, I fail to see how you cannot be bothered with the meld, it was highly inappropriate. You just met him, and a meld is typically only performed by close friends or family.

"Well, maybe he was really close to the other me. So he could have felt he was allowed to. I don't know much about this stuff, but I'm fine Spock. Don't worry about it, ok?"

"Be that as it may, I would still like to give you my apologies." He insisted.

"Fine Spock, I accept your apology even if I think it is pointless."

"Thank you, Jim"

After that most of the lunch passed by in silence until Spock broke it by asking me a question. "Jim, I would like to ask another serious question of you." He stated.

Okay, now I was even more nervous. "Sure Spock, what is it?" I replied a little hesitant.

"I would like for us to visit my alternate self when we arrive at New Vulcan, I feel it would right any wrong feelings I have about the situation." He stated firmly.

"What would that do? What would happen when we talk to him?" I asked.

"I believe we would be able to ask any questions and make sure that he did not violate your mind."

"Oh. Um, I don't know Spock. Do you really think we should? I don't think that would help at all." Crap! He wants to talk to the other him! If we do he'll learn about the dreams! I can't go with him.

"Yes, Jim. I do think it will be detrimental to putting my worries at ease. I am quite concerned about the meld." He stated, and I knew that he wasn't going to back out. Damn.

"Ok, fine Spock, we'll go talk to him." I said as I started to clear my area. Spock started to clean his as well when our hands brushed for the briefest of seconds. I can't describe the sensations I felt in my hand; the best word was tingly. Lets just say if felt incredible. This touch caused Spock to stop what he was doing. He seemed frozen, but it only lasted a second. It was then replaced by the most tense looking Spock I have ever seen.

We cleared the area, and threw away what needed to be thrown away when Spock looked at me and stiffly said, "It was an agreeable lunch, but I must depart now. Good bye." And with that he was gone, leaving me with a still tingly hand and a little flabbergasted.

I had no clue why he started to act this way. All I know is that I'm starting to fall for this guy. I needed someone to talk to. But who? I could only think of one person, the only guy I trusted, my only friend, Bones.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you everyone who read and reviwed, it really does mean a lot.

I made my way over to sickbay to be greeted in my usual manner. Bones rushing towards me with a hypo.

"Hey!" I said as I started to run away from him, "What's that for? I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Oh really?" he replied a little loudly, "I find that hard to believe since you haven't been here in forever! Who knows what you have been up to?!"

"What? Did you miss me Bones?" I joked, my golden smile firmly in place.

At that he grumbled but put the hypo down. "What do you want Jim? I can't have you crowding my sickbay!" I looked around, only to see Nurse Chapel organizing some medical supplies and nothing else happening.

"There's no one in here Bones!"

I was only rewarded with more grumbling. "Lets go in my office." He said heading towards the door.

"So." I stated in my cocky voice that I knew he hated. "What's up with you?"

"What's up with me? _What's up with me?_ Nothing! That's what! I never have anything to do on this damn ship!" he vented sitting behind his desk while I took my customary seat on the smaller desk in the corner of the room.

You see, this is why I like to come and see Bones. Suddenly my life doesn't seem so complicated and all he did to was rant a little about nothing. Yet it works every time.

"Wow. You seem to have it pretty tough Bones." I said in a semi-mocking tone.

"Oh yeah? What's so wrong with your life huh?" he challenged.

"Do you honestly want to know?" I asked, suddenly getting serious.

He looked at me and slowly replied "Yeah."

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." At this he looked at me incredulously.

"I like Spock." I decided that I should just basically blurt it out.

He just stared "So, besides being a green-blooded hobgoblin he is a pretty decent guy I guess. I could see why you would want to be friends." He firmly stated. He was clearly in denial. Or had no clue what I was talking about. I needed to break it to him softly.

"No Bones, not like him as a friend. More…like. a. crush." I slowly said, almost cringing away.

I was met by silence, but I could see the blood traveling to his face. But then after about a minute he went off like an atom bomb.

"WHAT?!?! JIM, ITS SPOCK! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I NEED TO GET A HYPO, YOUR SICK! I NEED TO SAVE YOU!" he screamed, starting to fumble around looking for anything to try and "fix" me.

"Bones! Shut up! I'm not sick!" he was still going off, rummaging through the drawers in his desk. "BONES! Shut up!" that eventually got him to calm down.

"Look, Bones. I know it's weird, but it's true. I can't explain it, but I do. I haven't ever felt this way about a girl." I calmly said. "Or a guy." I added as an after thought.

"Jim, why? I don't care that it's a guy. I mean, honestly, it doesn't surprise me, you just like sex, so what does it matter. But Spock? Come on, anyone but him. He has no emotions!" he practically pleaded.

"I don't choose who I want to like! You may not think he has feelings, but I have seen them Bones, I know he does." I said.

"Jim, are you sure? I'll always support you; you know that. I just hope you really thought about this, you're my best friend. I don't want you getting hurt." He said sincerely.

"Yeah, Bones. I'm sure, I have been sure for like two months." I replied.

"Well, okay. If you're sure Jim, I'm always here for you." He said, with a look that clearly said he was waiting for this whole situation to explode.

"Thank you, Bones. It means a lot." I said as I got up to leave his office. "I'll see you later, okay?" and with that I left his office only to hear "You better be back soon! And preferably not dying!" I left the medical bay with a smile on my face; I knew talking to Bones was a good idea.

I made my way to my quarters; I needed some time to rest. With only about 14 hours until we reached New Vulcan I really needed to catch up on some sleep.

I fumbled my way into my quarters finally starting to feel how tired I actually was, I made a b-line straight towards my bed shredding my clothes as I went. When my head finally hit the pillow I heard the last thing I ever wanted to hear. Someone knocking at my door.

With a tremendous amount of effort, I lifted my head from my pillow and called out a "Hold on!" I gathered up some pants to put on so I was at least decent not bothering to even think about a shirt.

I opened the door to reveal my First Officer; it's safe to say I woke up pretty quick. I noticed his small reaction to seeing me shirtless. His eyes quickly glanced over my stomach and lingering over my chest slightly longer than was necessary. All in all I was pretty pleased.

"Oh, Spock. What can I do for you?" I asked, slightly confused as to why he was here.

"Captain," he started. But once again I quickly cut him off, "Come on Spock, you know I want you to call me Jim. Why don't you come inside, so we aren't standing in the hallway?"

"Thank you, Jim." He said as he entered my room, starting to blush ever so slightly.

Once he entered my room it seemed like the customary awkward silence that liked to follow me decided to make itself known. I sat there looking at him waiting for him to start to speak. But it didn't look like he was going to start any time soon.

"So…" I started. This seemed to break him out of his silence because he started to speak.

"Jim, I have found myself thinking about my encounter with my alternate self quite frequently these past few weeks. One thing he said to me has been the basis of what I have been thinking of. He told me that you and I would have a friendship that would define us both." He stated looking directly at me.

My heart was starting to beat faster with every word he said.

"Directly after the conversation I found myself highly doubting the truth to his words. But as these weeks have passed I have come to the conclusion that, perhaps, he was speaking the truth. I have seen what you have accomplished in these short few months following the attacks and I believe that such a relationship is a possibility." He continued, slowly walking closer to me.

"Oh…" I didn't really know what to say. My heart was hammering in my chest from what he was telling me. It sounds like he respects me and wants to get to know me better.

I didn't know what to think at this point. He was still staring at me with a barely conceal intensity. Everything I thought was confusing twenty minutes ago seemed like they didn't matter anymore. I didn't know what to do, so I followed my instincts.

I slowly closed the space between us and kissed him. At first he tensed, but he soon relaxed into the kiss. The feeling of his lips on mine was incredible, they were so hot and soft I never wanted it to stop.

He slowly raised his hands to cup the side of my face and gently grab the back of my head. My arms were lost roaming his back. The moment seemed to last forever and yet finish all to quickly.

Soon, we parted and he looked at me breathing deeply and flushed as deep green. He seemed like he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

He slowly raised his hand and touched my face, tracing a line down my jaw and lingering slightly on my chin, with that he left my room, leaving me in silence not knowing what to do.

**A/N**: They finally kissed!! :D I was really excited that they got to this chapter; I don't plan anything out so it just happened. I wonder what will happen next!?

Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for reading and especially reviewing!

**A/N**: Im at my friends and have access to a working computer so i figured i would post two times today :D surprise!

Immediately after the kiss I basically stood where I was for about 5 minutes, not knowing what to do. I eventually ended up on my bed, because right now I was sitting on my bed listening to the alarm sound, letting me know we were only about an hour away from New Vulcan. It was then I realized that I once again needed to change pajamas. It seems even the kiss wouldn't work. What was I, twelve?

I quickly showered and got dressed and made my way to the bridge. Spock was already there, clearly avoiding my gaze. This was going to be fun.

"Good morning everyone!" I exclaimed tying to pretend that everything was fine.

"Sulu, how long until we reach New Vulcan?"

"About 30 minutes, Sir!" he replied.

"Good, lets make sure everything is ready. Chekov, why don't you make a ship wide announcement letting everyone know we are almost there."

"Aye, kepten!" he replied as he set to work.

Now all I needed to do was wait, and when our landing party heading down to the planet I would be able to find the old man. I wonder if my Spock is still going to go with me?

I soon found myself in the transporter room with my landing party, who consisted of Bones, Spock, and Me.

"Alright. Energize." I said.

"Aye, Captain!" the random crewmember stated.

I soon found myself standing outside in the hot sun in the middle of what looked like a desert. I immediately started to sweat and I could see Bones was in a similar state. Spock, however, looked perfectly comfortable, standing rigidly with his hands behind his back doing his best impression to a statue.

A few feet in front of us stood a group of 3 Vulcan's, who were obviously there to greet us. I noticed among them was Sarek, Spock's father, as well as the Half-Vulcan that I desperately needed to see. The other I did not recognize.

"Welcome," Sarek greeted us stepping forward. "We thank you Captain for delivering the necessary supplies needed to build our colony."

"It's no problem at all." I replied.

"If you will follow us, we shall get you out of the heat." He said gesturing that we follow them into the building that was directly behind them.

We followed and once inside I was greatly relieved to find that it was much cooler inside. I could hear Bones mumbling his relief.

"We have set up rooms for you to stay in during the duration of your stay here on New Vulcan." Sarek said leading us to a few doors further into the building.

"Oh, okay perfect." I replied

"This room will be yours Captain, the one to its left will be Spock's and the one on the right will be your Chief Medical Officers." He said.

"We will leave you to get settled and return later for the dinner we have prepared for you."

"Okay, thank you." I said as I entered my room while Spock and Bones did the same.

Not long after I entered my room there was a knocking on the door. Thinking it was Bones or maybe even Spock I just called out for them to enter, but I was surprised when it was the other Spock. I didn't think I would see him this soon.

"Oh, hi." I said, not being able to think of anything else.

"Hello Jim. I trust you are doing well?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay. How are you?"

"I am fine." He replied. "I wanted to visit, I sensed you had questions that needed to be answered."

"Wait, how did you know I had questions?" I asked slightly confused.

"I have found over my life that I have an exceptional ability to always know what your thinking. I knew you had questions the second I saw you." He replied calmly.

"Oh, well that's weird." I said and I saw a little twinkle in his eyes that seemed to mean he was amused.

"Well, I do have a few questions for you…about the mind meld, and your relationship with the other me." I said suddenly a little shy.

"Ah, I see. What is it you would like to know?"

"Um, did anything go…wrong during the mind meld? Cause I think something might have happened on accident, cause I keep having these dreams."

"Ah yes, I do believe some things may have gone awry during the meld. You see Jim, I had just witnessed my planet being destroyed and I was emotionally compromised when I preformed the meld on you. I do find it possible that a few mistakes could have been made. What are these dreams you spoke of about, Jim?"

"Oh, um…well," I started to blush deeply. How am I going to tell him about the dreams? It's really embarrassing.

"Do not be afraid to speak your mind Jim, I assure you I will not judge." He said honestly. Something about this Spock made me want to tell the truth. So I did.

"Well they are about me and my Spock, well not my Spock, but the Spock from my time." I quickly rambled.

"And what happens in these dreams?" he questioned.

I blushed deeper, but still replied, "Well, they are kind of intimate." that was an understatement.

"I see." Was all he said.

After a few moments he continued speaking, "Jim, I think these dreams might not be dreams at all. You see, in my timeline you and I were more than friends. You were my T'hy'la."

"What's that?" I wondered.

"It has many different meanings but the three that would apply to you would be a friend, a brother, and a lover." He answered calmly.

"Oh, well…shit. That answered my other question. So, you two were in a relationship?"

"Yes Jim, although it ran deeper than a simple relationship. It was more of a bond." He said. His eyes seemed to glaze over when he talked about that bond, like he was a million miles away.

He quickly recovered and continued speaking, "I believe these dreams might in fact be memories. Memories of my life with the other you."

"That's what I was thinking. They felt to real to be dreams. What should we do about them?" I asked.

"I am sorry to say Jim that I do not think that I can help you. I am afraid to say that only your Spock can help you." He said, the twinkle still in his eyes.

"Why can't you help me?" I asked desperately. "You did this! You should be able to fix it!"

"I do not have the strength to access your mind and remove these memories Jim, I am to old, I could not handle it." He stated gravely.

I couldn't believe this, Spock couldn't help me, well the old Spock that is, and now I have to ask my Spock to help me? This keeps getting better and better!

"Okay, so what is he going to have to do to fix it?" I asked.

"Well, first he will perform a mind meld with you and then the two of you will access the part of your mind that the memories are hidden in and hopefully remove them."

"Oh, that doesn't sound too hard." I said, but this got a disbelieving look from the old guy so I quickly shut up.

"It will prove immensely tiring for the both of you." He stated firmly, yet the twinkle was still there. Was he planning this? It wouldn't surprise me at all if he were, he seems like a meddler. But what was I going to do? I only had one option now.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I walked over to answer it.

"Oh, Spock. Hi." This was about to get interesting.

**A/N**: Did anyone catch my little tribute to another author in this chapter? If you get it right you have my props :D

Please review; you'll be my favorite person ever!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for reading and reviewing, this chapter is for you.

"Spock, what can I do for you?" I asked, a little nervous to see him after the talk I was having with the other him.

"I was going to ask if you would accompany me to visit my alternate self, but I can see that it will no longer be needed. May I join you?" he asked, although it didn't really sound like a question.

"Yeah sure." I said stepping aside to let him in, getting extremely nervous.

"Hello." My Spock said to the other him with a curt nod.

"Greetings," The other replied. "Jim and I were just discussing the effects the mind meld may have had on him and what would needed to be done to solve and lingering problems." He said. So much for being subtle.

"I see," Spock replied. "What have you determined that needs to be done to fix this mistake?" Spock stated with the slightest amount of menace in his voice. He still seemed a bit sour about this whole situation.

"We have come to the conclusion that another meld will be required to free his mind from the dreams he has been troubled with. We also decided that I should not be the one to perform the meld as I am to old and I do not know if I could handle the amount of stress it will cause upon me. We decided you should perform the meld." He stated simply.

Spock regarded him silently for a few moments before nodding his head in reluctant agreement.

"Jim, you did not inform me of any dreams you were suffering from, why is that?" My Spock asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, well they weren't that bad, I didn't want to trouble you any more than I had to. You were really angry about the meld, I thought it would make it worse." I replied honestly.

"I can understand why you would come to that conclusion, but I must ask that, if in the future another situation similar to this may arise that you do not keep any information from me. If I am able to help solve the problem I will need all of the information that you know."

I don't know why this affected me so much but it did. It showed that Spock genuinely cared for me and wanted to keep me safe. I couldn't help but smile at this statement. So I just nodded to let him know that I would do as he asked next time.

Spock then looked at me and said "We shall perform the meld tomorrow, I find it logical to do so as quickly as possible so that we may eradicate this problem."

"Okay, that's fine with me. You can come over in the morning."

"Agreed." He replied

Soon after this we noticed that dinner would be soon so we parted ways, all of us needed to get ready.

I had just gotten out of the shower and dressed when there was a knocking on my door. I went to answer it to only be slightly surprised to see my Spock standing there with his hands firmly behind his back.

"Hi Spock. What's up?" I asked.

"I am here to accompany you to dinner, it seemed logical that we should go together seeing as our rooms are adjacent and you do not know where the dinner is being held" He stated.

I could easily see his little lie, if you could call it that. He was telling the truth but not the whole truth, he wanted to walk with me to dinner. This made me grin.

"Sure, that sounds great. Just let me finish up and we can go." I quickly finished getting ready which took all of about a minute and we were soon on our way.

At first he seemed really tense but he started to loosen up. For a couple of minutes it seemed like he was trying to get the courage to talk to me about something. I started to get a little nervous as well as a little amused at the same time. It was kind of fun to see him struggle to say something, it was very out of character and somehow flattering that it was because of me.

He finally summed up the courage and started to speak, "Jim, I would like to talk about what happened last night." He seemed nervous.

"Oh ok, what's on your mind?"

"Jim, there is nothing on my mind, that is physically impossible." He stated.

"It's a phrase Spock, what did you want to talk about?"

"I feel we left matters unsettled, and I do not want them to interfere with our work."

"Well, did you want to kiss me Spock, because to be honest—" I was then cut off because we arrived at the dinner and Sarek was heading towards us to greet us.

"Welcome Jim, Spock." He said with a slight nod.

"Thank you Ambassador." I said.

We made our way to the room where we found Bones mumbling in the corner, how did he find this place anyway? I completely forgot about him. Maybe that will explain the mumbling. The other Spock was there as well as the still nameless other Vulcan. It seemed like this was going to be a casual affair, well as casual as a Vulcan dinner party, keep in mind the word party is being used very loosely, can get.

Dinner passed in somewhat of a blur, the food was good. There was no meat, which annoyed Bones to no end but I was okay with. We talked about the usual types of things, like how the colony was doing and what was new with the Enterprise. All in all I would say the dinner was nice accept the whole time I was thinking about the conversation with Spock. It seemed like he was too, if the look in his eyes was any indicator.

I really wanted to know what his answer was going to be. I was getting slightly anxious towards the end of dinner because I knew the conversation would start right back up again the second we were alone.

When we finally finished and started to head to our rooms we somewhat lost Bones, it seemed like he had a little bit to drink and he decided to wander off and do a little sight seeing, I felt kind of bad for losing him, but that worry quickly left as I realized the conversation was about to start back up again.

"Jim, before you were cut off from our conversation earlier you were about to say something, what was it you were going to say?" Spock asked.

"Well," all right the moment of truth. "I wanted to know if you wanted to kiss me, because honestly I wanted to kiss you." I said.

We both stopped walking and he looked at me while I looked back directly in his eyes. It took him a moment to speak, but he finally did.

"Jim," he said slowly, "I also found myself desiring to kiss you. I find it illogical, yet it doesn't matter for some reason when I am with you. Most things about you are illogical."

I found myself smiling at that, I don't know if it was out of relief that he also wanted to kiss me or the fact that it went beyond him just wanting to kiss me, his feelings ran deeper than just physical, and that made me really happy because mine did too.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reading! and reviewing!

That night was the first night I slept peacefully in two months. When I eventually did wake up I found myself wishing I could go back to bed, not because I was tried just cause that meant I could sleep again.

I was so thrilled that I had such a good nights sleep that I didn't remember any of my worries. I ate breakfast alone in my room, humming happily to myself as I did so. I went through my usual morning routine with a smile on my face the whole time. Until there was a beep notifying me of someone at my door.

That's when everything came crashing back down. I remembered that the mind meld was today. That was something I defiantly wasn't looking forward to.

I quickly walked to the door and opened it to see my Spock, I found that this term didn't bother me anymore, my Spock I said once again in my head. I just hope it will come true. He was holding a few things in his arms, so I quickly stepped to the side saying hello and allowing him access to my room. He was holding a couple of mats, candles, and what looked like incense.

"Is all of that for the mind meld?" I asked.

"Yes, these will help to create a comfortable atmosphere which will allow us both to reach a state of relaxation that will be conducive to the meld."

"Oh. Cool." I replied.

Spock quickly went to work setting up the room; first he laid out the mats, and put the bowl of incense on the ground near them and lighting it. He then started to put the candles in random spots in the room, lighting them as he went. The room was soon filled with a different kind of smell, weird, but oddly pleasant.

"Jim, would you please turn off the lights and sit on the mat across from me?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said as I quickly flipped the switch to the lights and sat down across from him.

"What we are about to do is quite very difficult and quite time consuming. Nothing will be hidden from either of us, because our minds will be open. Once I initiate the meld, I will find your subconscious and we will then look for the memories that were implanted to your mind. Once I find them I will begin the process of removing them. While I am doing so, I ask that you refrain from trying to contact me." He said this with a look that clearly said 'I know you'll try, so don't do it.' he then continued explaining, "I will be very focused on removing the memories, so it will seem as if I am not there. Please do not worry if this takes a lot of time, I am fairly certain it most definitely will."

He then asked if I was ready and I nodded my head, he placed his hand on my face at the points that would let him into my mind and said "My mind, to your mind."

_My thoughts, to your thoughts_," then echoed in my head. It was a little surprising; I wasn't alone in my head anymore. I could feel someone there, yet not there at the same time. It was like they were me and I was them, yet not at all. It was the weirdest feeling.

I never knew what my mind would look like, I hadn't even thought about it, but I guess it didn't surprise me that it was a brilliant white. Everything around me was practically shining. That was when I saw the black. Yet, at the same time it wasn't black at all, I couldn't describe it. It didn't scare me like I thought it would, it almost seemed to comfort me; I wanted to reach out and touch it.

At this thought I heard Spock say _Fascinating_ somewhere around me, but all I could see was the brilliant white light and the deep black.

_These are the forms that our minds have taken, it is what your mind finds most comfortable_, I heard come out of nowhere. It was then that I realized that I knew what Spock was thinking and I could feel what he was feeling; surprise, wonder, and confusion. I take it he knew what I was feeling as well, basically the same things.

_Spock? This is weird_. I said still trying to get a grasp on what was going on.

_Focus Jim_, Spock said. _I am now going to begin to remove the memories, please remember what I said earlier and remain silent; I am about to begin._

I knew exactly when he started to remove the memories, like he said it felt as if he wasn't here anymore. The comforting blackness that was Spock's mind seemed to diminish a bit, but still remained. I suddenly felt lonely.

I knew Spock said this was going to take long, but seriously? It felt like I was floating there for days, there is not much to do when you're basically just a white light. I found it very hard to listen to what Spock told me; I wanted to talk really badly!

Finally I started to notice something change around me. The blackness started to brighten back up again and the lonely feeling was starting to leave. I finally heard Spock speak.

_Jim_, he said a bit breathlessly if that was at all possible, _I have successfully removed all of the memories. I am going to terminate the meld._

With that I was suddenly jerked awake, if you could call it that, only to find myself in the arms of the Half-Vulcan. I was on top of him and we were on the ground wrapped up in each other's arms, in what seemed like a loving embrace.

We both looked at each other in the eyes for what seemed like eternity, then without warning Spock tilted his head up and kissed me deeply. And I thought the first kiss was amazing.

It started off somewhat slow yet so powerful, just a touching of the lips but it soon escalated into so much more. Spock's mouth was warm on mine, and I never wanted to lose this feeling. I could feel him deepening the kiss as time went on and I easily complied. This kiss was filled with so much passion I couldn't quite comprehend it.

I don't know how long we kissed there on the floor, but I knew it ended all to soon. When we finally came back up for air, and he looked at me again, cupped my face with his hand and whispered something that I couldn't quite hear.

That was how we stayed for who knows how long. We eventually drifted off to sleep, still holding each other the whole time.

**A/N**: Wow. Mind melds are difficult to write…I got my "inspiration" for it from Lanaea. I really liked how she described it so I felt like doing something similar. So thank you Lanaea, I hope you don't mind. I hoped you liked the meld though, I know I liked the end :D

Please Review!


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for reading and reviewing, this is for you!

I slowly sat up, my back was a little sore from sleeping on the ground and the position my body was in, that's when I remembered falling asleep and what happened prior to that.

Spock.

Wait! When did I get in my bed? Did Spock put me here? I looked around my room to see nothing. It was like he was never here, everything was gone, the candles, the mats, even the incense.

I slowly got up, stretching as I went. I looked at the clock to see that it was 8:00 a.m. I slept the whole day? I mean we started the meld at like nine in the morning. Wow, I guess it is really tiring.

I headed towards the bathroom to take care of some business as well as shower and brush my teeth. I needed to get ready for the day. I decided that I should go see Spock to make sure everything is all good.

I finished everything that I needed to do, and headed over to Spock's room. I knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. But it seemed to take a while, so I decided that I would peak in and check to see if he was in there.

As I cracked to door open to peak inside, I saw similar candles lit throughout the room and saw Spock sitting on the floor, with his legs crossed, clearly meditating. I was about to leave when I heard him speak.

"It is alright Jim, you may enter. I was just about finished."

"Oh, okay" I said as I walked into the room to go sit on the bed. He stayed in his position for a few more moments before finally opening his eyes and looking at me. I could see the tension in his shoulders go away immediately, and I was glad that he let loose when he was near me.

"Hello," he said as he looked at me fondly and got up heading to sit down next to me.

"Hi." I replied.

He sat down next to me and grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers cause a pleasant tingle to go through my whole hand.

We sat like this for about 5 minutes in complete silence just enjoying the others company until Spock started to speak.

"Jim, are you hungry?"

"Yeah I am actually, I haven't eaten in forever. I was asleep the whole day after the meld."

"Yes, the meld was quite tiring. But you did not sleep the whole day, by the time the meld was finished it was about 6 o'clock in the evening." He said getting up to head to the replicator that was in the room.

"Really? It took that long? I knew it would take awhile but I didn't think it would take that long."

"I told you it was time consuming." He pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah." I said dismissively. "What's for breakfast?"

"I have found recently that I would like to try a traditional human breakfast, I think now would be the appropriate time for pancakes." He stated simply.

"Really? Sweet! Make sure there is extra syrup, it's my favorite." I said with a smile.

Spock got all of the food from the replicator and brought it over to the table where I was already sitting. He sat down and the feast began.

I quickly grabbed a stack of about 5 pancakes and dumped an obscene amount of syrup over the top, while Spock sat silently and watched.

I started to shove a bite in my mouth when I noticed he hadn't even moved.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I am unsure of how I should prepare the pancakes." He replied.

"Oh, well it's easy, I'll show you."

"Thank you, Jim."

"Alright, how many do you want?" I asked.

"I think two shall suffice." He replied.

"Are you sure? I don't think that's enough. I'll give you three." I said completely ignoring his attempts to stop me.

"Now, do you like syrup? You have to like it, it's a rule."

"I do not think that is a rule Jim." He replied.

"Of course it is!" I said as I started to pour some over his pancakes, pretending that he said he wanted some, even though he never said if he would like any. "Now, take your fork and cut into them and make sure you get a piece from every pancake." I told him.

He did as he was told. I could see that it was a little weird for him to eat this way, but he was trying and it was really cute to see him figuring something new out.

The look in his eyes when he took the first bite was hilarious, of course his face didn't show any emotion but his eyes told it all. They immediately widened and kept darting back from his fork to the plate.

"I find them agreeable." Was all he said. This caused me to laugh out loud.

"Of course they're agreeable. They're amazing." I replied over my chuckles.

After a few minutes of amicable silence I asked another question.

"So we head back to the Enterprise later today right?"

"Yes." He replied.

"So…um, what's the deal with us then?"

"I do not know of a deal that stands between us, Jim." He replied.

"Come on Spock you know what I'm talking about. What are we? Are we dating? All that has happened between us is a couple of intense make out sessions, and I'll admit it right now, I want more." I stated firmly.

"I see," he started, clearly not expecting this conversation over breakfast "I too find myself wanting, as you said 'more'." He said as he looked into my eyes.

My heart started to hammer in my chest. "So, we both want more. That's good, I guess."

"Yes Jim, that is good. However, I do not know if a relationship between us would be the most prudent choice." He stated almost sadly.

It felt like my heart fell out of my chest. "What do you mean it wouldn't be prudent?"

"Jim, you are my superior officer. A relationship between us could cause complications that would not be conducive to the Enterprise and her crew."

"Spock," I started, "just because we're dating it doesn't mean anything is going to happen to the Enterprise. I know how to separate work and my life, and I know you know how to as well. We aren't stupid Spock and I want to make this work, I think this could be a really good thing."

The whole time I was speaking Spock was looking at me intently. He just sat there, with the typical Vulcan mask in play. But once again, his eyes told me everything I needed to know. He wanted me, I could see it, what I was saying was getting through to him.

"Jim, I understand what you are saying." He said, but soon after paused.

He looked at me, I mean really looked at me. He was searching to see that what I said was true, and I really hoped that he thought it was, cause I was trying really hard.

"I find your point to be most convincing." He stated, to my great relief. "I, however, do not want to proceed into this relationship on the wrong basis. In more simpler terms, I would like to take this relationship slow."

"Fine, perfect! We'll take it as slow as you want," I said as I raised my hand and tentatively put it over his shoulder. "I'll wait as long as you want."

He looked at me and raised his hand to cover my own. He slowly grabbed it and arranged my fingers in a particular order, leaving my pointer and middle finger extended. He then took his hand and made the same form, he raised his hand and slowly brought our fingers together at the tips, leaving my fingers feeling warm and tingly, he then brushed his fingers down my own and the warm sensation seemed to double.

He spoke softly, "This is how Vulcan's kiss."


	9. Chapter 9

Finally it was time to return to the Enterprise. Spock and I spent the whole day together, just spending time in each others company, not really talking about anything important.

We made our way to the extraction point where we were expected to say our goodbyes and finally depart.

As we rounded the final corner I saw the same three Vulcan's who originally met us when we arrived.

"Hello Jim, Spock and Dr. McCoy, I trust everything during your stay has gone well?" The older Spock asked when we finally stopped in front of them.

Only Spock and I knew of the double meaning to his question.

"Everything went really well," I replied while Bones mumbled something incoherently in response, I think he was still mad that I kind of forgot about him this whole trip.

"Then all is well, I do wish the best for all of you and your crew. Thank you again for coming to our aid in our time of need. I do hope you may return soon, but under more recreational purposes." The elder Spock said.

"No problem, we are always here to help. Thank you for such hospitality." I replied.

After this initial exchange, everyone said their goodbyes and we finally beamed back up to the Enterprise.

"'Ello Cap'in! Hows yer trip?" Scotty said as we materialized in the transporter room.

"It was great Scotty!" I replied honestly, smiling to myself. "I trust nothing special happened while I was gone?"

"Aye, nothin Cap'in. Everythin was perfectly fine." He stated.

"Good, good." I replied as Spock and I headed towards the bridge and Bones headed towards the medical bay.

Spock and I finally reached the bridge and were caught up on everything that happened over the couple days we were gone. We were still waiting for our next mission from Starfleet, which could take who knows how long, so I decided that the bridge crew could use a break and had them all relieved for the time being.

I made my way to my room, because I really just wanted to be alone, or with Spock but I figured I would give him a little space, we both could probably use it. I took a much-needed shower. I got dressed in some casual clothes and sat down at my desk and decided to finish up some paper work, surprise I know!

As soon as I was finally immersed in my work I heard a knocking at my door. I walked to the door, thankful that I was able to stop doing paperwork even though I chose to do it in the first place.

It was Spock. Sweet.

"Hey, come in." I said with a smile on my face.

"Thank you Jim." He said as he walked past me into the room. "When I returned to my quarters I was able to quickly finish all of the tasks that required my attention. I had nothing left to do, so I found it logical to visit you."

"So, you were bored and decided to visit me?" I asked smirking slightly, forgetting to shut the door completely.

"Essentially, yes."

"Well, then what could we possibly do?" I said as I slowly walked to him and kissed him.

That's when we heard the gasp; we quickly broke apart as if we were shocked to see Uhura standing there completely shocked with her mouth hanging open like a dying fish.

"What was that?!" she asked somewhat frantically.

"We can explain!" I quickly said. "Just come in and shut the door."

She did as I asked and then walked towards us looking at us like we were ill.

"I really hope you can explain, you two are supposed to hate each other. I'm so confused."

"Well, we don't hate each other." I said; Spock still seemed to find not talking the most logical thing to do, which was not really helpful right now.

"Obviously." She stated. "What, was the hatred between you two a cover up for your true feelings? Have you two been together for a while now? Were you together when we were dating Spock? You cheated on me! How could you do something like that to me Spock?" She was starting to get frantic. Why do girls always do this? How did she even get to the conclusion that Spock cheated on her?

Spock finally decided to speak up, "No Nyota, I did not 'cheat' on you. This relationship with Jim is quite new. While on New Vulcan our true feelings were revealed to one another over a quite personal experience."

"What happened?" She asked.

"I cannot tell you the whole truth, I do not think it is right to do so." He stated.

"No Spock, I think you can. Who is she going to tell? You won't tell anyone will you?" I asked her with a pointed look.

"No, of course I wont tell, Spock your one of my best friends, I would never do that to you." She stated sincerely.

"Very well, during the Nero incident another version of myself arrived from an alternate universe." He started, Uhura looked a little surprised but she didn't say anything. "He helped Jim defeat Nero by performing a mind meld with him explaining what he needed to do. While he performed the meld, something went slightly wrong, he accidentally imprinted memories of his own past into Jim's memory. These memories caused Jim to have trouble sleeping so they needed to be removed. While on New Vulcan, I preformed a meld with Jim to remove the memories, it was during that meld that we discovered our deeper feelings for each other."

Uhura's eyes were watering slightly, "That's so romantic. Do you love each other?" she asked trying to fight back her tears.

I startled a little at the question, but it made me think. Did I love Spock? I mean, I'm willing to take this relationship slow, which is really weird for me, I think I have taken one other relationship slowly in my life and even then it only lasted 3 months and I was like 17 years old. I have liked him for a while now, but I haven't ever considered love. Did I love Spock? It was a startling revelation but I think I might have.

I looked over at him and I saw a lot going on behind that Vulcan mask, it seemed like he was having the very same conversation with himself.

I decided to speak up, "Yeah, I think I might."

Spock and Uhura both looked at me at the same time, both with somewhat bewildered looks. Even though Uhura asked the question I guess it was still surprising to see Jim Kirk say he was in love with another person.

"Oh." Uhura said. Spock was still staring at me, his face having gone completely blank.

"As illogical as it sounds," Spock started, still looking at me. "I too find myself in love with you, this relationship is quite new and we still have much to learn of one another but I believe that we can do it. I have tried many times over the past few months to see who it is I would be with in my life and every time I do I see you." At some point he had walked closer to me and Uhura had left, but I barely noticed, my whole being was focused on Spock.

"Was it really me every time?" I asked.

"Yes Jim, it has always been you."

A/N: Thank you everyone who read and especially those who reviewed. Reviews are amazing and i love them! And thanks for understanding my little computer problem, i hope the story didnt suffer too much, i think if anything did it would be this chapter, i didnt want the story to end this quick, but dont worry! i get my computer back in about a week so i'll start the sequel then, look forward to it in a couple of weeks :)


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